14 Days Without…

Don’t worry about calming the storm

Calm yourself, the storm will pass…

– I Am Sober app

Good morning/afternoon/evening, whatever the time of day is for my readers, aka the Chang Gang (yes, I decided to name my subscribers, welcome!) I thank you for tuning in for the second official blog post of Coffee with Chang.  

Before I start, I want to give a shout out to Detour Coffee House, located on Camden Road in Fayetteville, North Carolina!  Today’s coffee of choice is a delicious café mocha, complimented with a Liege Waffle topped with strawberries, bananas, and REAL maple syrup! Mmm Mm Mm, I cannot be mad at the spread or setting. You can find them on detourcoffeehouse.com or Instagram: detourcoffeehouse.  If you are ever in the area, it’s highly recommended.

Today I want to discuss a snippet of my sobriety and addiction.  The reason being, yesterday marked 14 days that I have remained alcohol free!  In my opinion it seems like it has been 2 years and not 2 weeks but everyone around me keeps congratulating me on this small milestone that I have to reflect on how I even got here in the first place.  

A couple years ago I was getting ready to leave the US and move to Germany for a couple of years and another good friend of mine was about to deploy overseas himself, so in spirited fashion we decided to throw a going away party for the small circle of friends we have.  I show up with a bottle of Don Julio 1942 (yes, the good stuff), another person makes an appearance with the same bottle, then another person comes in with the same bottle, and to make matters worse, the host already had a bottle of the same exact liquor!  It’s just 5 of us and these 5 bottles so there could be no way that we do the unthinkable… wrong! Everyone is having a good time, reminiscing, having top 5 debates, and just oblivious to the fact that we had went through all 5 bottles between us.  Next thing you know, here we are at the strip club consuming substantial amounts of Hennessy and doing lord knows what…moving on.  I wake up at home… in my bed… 45 minutes from the house where the party started.  I cannot find my phone, wallet, or keys.  I am in my underwear with a trail of clothes leading from my front door! I get dressed and go outside to check and see if my phone was in my car (I did not remember driving home) and there it was on the passenger side floor.  Something isn’t right though.  When I close the door…. I look down and my whole wheel was missing on the front passenger side!  At some point between destination A and my house, I hit something and lost my entire wheel!  That is not a good feeling and there had to be an angel that guided me home that night.  You think I would have learned my lesson but let us move forward to May 2nd, 2021…

Day drinking at a farmers’ market, 2 bars later, it is now 10-11pm on a Sunday.  I do not remember how many shots of Jameson I took but I do know they were coming on an invisible conveyer belt and I could not stop myself even though I knew I was clearly past my limit. I of course do what… drive home.  I do not remember much on this drive except feeling a huge jolt, swerving off the road, and then stabilizing myself… that is all.  Here we are again, I wake up thinking it was a bad dream… my head is banging, but there is no way I hit something.  I go outside and I see the driver’s side… clean, not a scratch.  I proceed to walk around to the other side… WHAT AND THE FUCK CHANG? My front passenger light is busted, my fender is peeled all the way off, and you can clearly see suspension damage.  At this moment, my heart is racing because I had a thousand thoughts going through my head.  What did I hit?  Did I hit a vehicle? Did I hit a person? What if I got a DUI? What if I killed someone or myself?  After I reported everything to my insurance and one of my bosses at work, I have never felt more guilt and shame in my life until this moment…This was unacceptable along with my behaviors in the lifestyle I was living, I knew in that moment it was time for a change.  

The very next day I self-enrolled myself into the Army Substance Use Disorder Clinical Care treatment program and haven’t looked back.  For anyone’s concern, I was not injured, my Jeep was a total loss, and I did not hurt anyone or another motor vehicle.  I hit a pole that lodged under the fender and caused the loss damage.  From the bottom of my heart, I have to apologize to my family, friends, loved ones, and anyone who has lost someone to drivers under the influence.  This has led me to get the help I need to remain sober and to never make a mistake like this ever again in my life.  There is much more between the blurred lines of my drinking but this is to bring light to the facts sometimes we do not know we have a problem until it becomes a problem… Do not drink and drive, call an uber/lyft, call a friend, or sleep in your vehicle… it isn’t worth your life or someone else’s!

Thank you for reading, tip your barista, and as always… I will clean the table!

We’ll talk soon, Ciao!

15 thoughts on “14 Days Without…

  1. Its refreshing to hear from someone whom I have held in high regard, completely vulnerable and exposing themselves to critical mental/physical self care through personal revelations. Keep going! Looking forward to more.

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    1. Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I want to present all the material here with no filter and zero in on some of my truths for others to relate to that might not have the strength at the time to do the same. Thank you again and i appreciate your support

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  2. The hardest part is recognizing it and then doing something about it. It won’t be easy because good things are never easy to come by. There are so many in your corner for this fight. There will no doubt be some hits but it’s how you respond and hit back that’ll make the difference in this fight. You got this. We all love you and are proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you bro, that’s all love and love you too. One day at a time with a lot of real ones in my corner.

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  3. Wow what a journey. So glad you are alive to tell the story. Everyday is a battle but you must always push forward. Congratulations on your sobriety. I am routing for you❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely glad i am alive and no one was hurt and sometimes these stories need to be heard so others hopefully don’t make the same mistakes. Appreciate your support and love you cousin !

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  4. I myself have a guardian angel or two that has kept me safe all these years. 18 years ago I myself had decided enough was enough. I had to pull myself out of all the bad habits that I took as normal going two years sober, smoke-free, no more one-night stands until I met Chuck who is now my husband. I had picked up drinking again, he didn’t. Today over time I have calmed down for I don’t want an early death; I don’t want to put my kids through that. Continue to take it day by day; I applaud you’re deciding to change your life for I discovered as well there is nothing wrong with being sober. As time goes by all those mistakes will become a distant memory as lessons learned. Keep up the good work your blog is awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m proud of you bruh for not only accepting the change you have to make to better your life and staying on the sober train but for to also publicly out yourself out there like that! It takes a lot of courage and strength as a man to admit not only to yourself but to other ppl who battle with a addiction! Keep it up fam I’m wicked proud of ya! -Budz

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chang I’ve always looked up to you since the day I met you, we all have our ups and downs, what matters is how we move forward. The step you made to get help reminds me of why I looked up to you all those years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow Wil, it’s been a long time friend. I am so proud of you! Your self reflection and drive towards furthering your personal growth shine here! I look forward to reading more from you, very well written! I think this will be a fantastic outlet to help you through recovery!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Congratulations on your sobriety kid! You will have to work at it each and every day but it will all be so worth it. Your family needs you! It’s been a long time but I’m sure you still have the same infectious spirit you did 20 years ago, so I’m just as sure that you have a huge crowd of people who support you and are in your corner rooting for you to win this battle. I’m rooting for you Chang. Also, THANK YOU FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY! God Bless

    Liked by 1 person

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