Good morning/afternoon/evening, whatever the time of day is for my readers, aka the Chang Gang (yes, I decided to name my subscribers, welcome!) I thank you for tuning in for the second official blog post of Coffee with Chang.
Before I start, I want to give a shout out to Detour Coffee House, located on Camden Road in Fayetteville, North Carolina! Today’s coffee of choice is a delicious café mocha, complimented with a Liege Waffle topped with strawberries, bananas, and REAL maple syrup! Mmm Mm Mm, I cannot be mad at the spread or setting. You can find them on detourcoffeehouse.com or Instagram: detourcoffeehouse. If you are ever in the area, it’s highly recommended.
Today I want to discuss a snippet of my sobriety and addiction. The reason being, yesterday marked 14 days that I have remained alcohol free! In my opinion it seems like it has been 2 years and not 2 weeks but everyone around me keeps congratulating me on this small milestone that I have to reflect on how I even got here in the first place.
A couple years ago I was getting ready to leave the US and move to Germany for a couple of years and another good friend of mine was about to deploy overseas himself, so in spirited fashion we decided to throw a going away party for the small circle of friends we have. I show up with a bottle of Don Julio 1942 (yes, the good stuff), another person makes an appearance with the same bottle, then another person comes in with the same bottle, and to make matters worse, the host already had a bottle of the same exact liquor! It’s just 5 of us and these 5 bottles so there could be no way that we do the unthinkable… wrong! Everyone is having a good time, reminiscing, having top 5 debates, and just oblivious to the fact that we had went through all 5 bottles between us. Next thing you know, here we are at the strip club consuming substantial amounts of Hennessy and doing lord knows what…moving on. I wake up at home… in my bed… 45 minutes from the house where the party started. I cannot find my phone, wallet, or keys. I am in my underwear with a trail of clothes leading from my front door! I get dressed and go outside to check and see if my phone was in my car (I did not remember driving home) and there it was on the passenger side floor. Something isn’t right though. When I close the door…. I look down and my whole wheel was missing on the front passenger side! At some point between destination A and my house, I hit something and lost my entire wheel! That is not a good feeling and there had to be an angel that guided me home that night. You think I would have learned my lesson but let us move forward to May 2nd, 2021…
Day drinking at a farmers’ market, 2 bars later, it is now 10-11pm on a Sunday. I do not remember how many shots of Jameson I took but I do know they were coming on an invisible conveyer belt and I could not stop myself even though I knew I was clearly past my limit. I of course do what… drive home. I do not remember much on this drive except feeling a huge jolt, swerving off the road, and then stabilizing myself… that is all. Here we are again, I wake up thinking it was a bad dream… my head is banging, but there is no way I hit something. I go outside and I see the driver’s side… clean, not a scratch. I proceed to walk around to the other side… WHAT AND THE FUCK CHANG? My front passenger light is busted, my fender is peeled all the way off, and you can clearly see suspension damage. At this moment, my heart is racing because I had a thousand thoughts going through my head. What did I hit? Did I hit a vehicle? Did I hit a person? What if I got a DUI? What if I killed someone or myself? After I reported everything to my insurance and one of my bosses at work, I have never felt more guilt and shame in my life until this moment…This was unacceptable along with my behaviors in the lifestyle I was living, I knew in that moment it was time for a change.
The very next day I self-enrolled myself into the Army Substance Use Disorder Clinical Care treatment program and haven’t looked back. For anyone’s concern, I was not injured, my Jeep was a total loss, and I did not hurt anyone or another motor vehicle. I hit a pole that lodged under the fender and caused the loss damage. From the bottom of my heart, I have to apologize to my family, friends, loved ones, and anyone who has lost someone to drivers under the influence. This has led me to get the help I need to remain sober and to never make a mistake like this ever again in my life. There is much more between the blurred lines of my drinking but this is to bring light to the facts sometimes we do not know we have a problem until it becomes a problem… Do not drink and drive, call an uber/lyft, call a friend, or sleep in your vehicle… it isn’t worth your life or someone else’s!
Thank you for reading, tip your barista, and as always… I will clean the table!
We’ll talk soon, Ciao!